Through the Cookie Glass
IMAGE: Cookie Clicker by Orteil
WARNING: Do not click the cookies. Leave the cookies be.
Dear Delta V of the AWTR site,
What the hell have you just done to me?!
What the hell is this?
What am I doing?!
You said this was a new form of game! You said it was an ‘incrementer’!
You said it was free! But it’s taking my life!
I thought I was the player, but I’m the one being played…
Measuring out my life in cookie clicks.
Do I have control? Do I dare eat a peach?
I have now stared into the void …and damnable cookies stared back.
Why can’t I close this thing down?! Why can’t I be free of that giant throbbing cookie and its ageless, seeking eye?!
I don’t want to click anymore… Why am I still clicking?!?!
It’s like the ‘Sorcerer’s Apprentice’ short in Fantasia – they keep multiplying, keep expanding exponentially… I click to get to that higher rung, so the higher rung just gets higher, and the cookies increase, and the multipliers expand, and the sky is the limit, but there’s more sky beyond that sky…
Wait, what’s that screaming sound?
…Oh. That’s me.
How long have I been screaming?
I curse you, and will tell future generations of your misdeeds.
Just as soon as I get this macaroon upgrade…
Whoops, I mean: Cookie
I mean, ‘drayfish’.
IMAGE: Cookie Clicker
What immortal hand or eye, / Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?
EDIT: In further, evil-related news, it appears that Cookie Clicker has now been parodied in a Breaking Bad homage, Clicking Bad. I’m not sure that the gameplay-reward-feedback-loop-as-drug-addiction metaphor really needed to be spelled out that overtly (after all, the exponentially increasing cookies are likened to every corruptive obsession from fame to money to heroin pretty explicitly in the original game), but it has a nice pun title and references Arrested Development straight out of the gates, so what more do you want?
This entry was posted on November 5, 2013 at 12:53 am and is filed under stupidity, video games with tags AWTR, Breaking Bad, clicking, Clicking Bad, Cookie, Cookie Clicker, Delta, incrementer, Prufrock. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.